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A Lenten Journey Begins

My Lent seemed to begin before Shrove Tuesday had even ended. This 2nd semester of my Middler Year is kinda kicking my butt so far, and too many things were beginning to collide up against one another. The realization is there's plenty to do, but not enough of me to do it all. So sacrifices need to be made. I may not always be making the best decisions, but choices confront me and decisions challenge me, and I need to be able to get through it all and survive. Therefore I deny myself some things I wish I could do while still doing other things I need not do, and still have plenty yet that needs to be done. I have decided to be a bit more gentle with myself while instituting some discipline of contemplation and study. 

On Ash Wednesday, the seminary observed a Quiet Day. Following morning Eucharist with Imposition of Ashes, a meditation was offered about siding with angels and dirt to embrace an apostolic vocation. Anointed by Dirt. A challenging sharing about facing mortality as we consider ministry, whether it be as laity or ordained. It did make me consider my call coming later in life and how God might use me as an instrument among his people while I walk among them. Afterward the community moved into silence. I used the time I had (after sacristaning) to read Henri J.M. Nouwen's book, Life of the Beloved

One of the things I gave up for Lent in Facebook, commonly called "Wastebook" in our household. Heart Of My Heart is taking one for the team by keeping an eye on Fb for both of us, and sharing things I may need or want to know. I considered looking at Fb, but refraining from posting or commenting, but that doesn't help with claiming time for other things.

The 2011 Lenten Meditations from Episcopal Relief & Development (ERD) as well as another Nouwen book, Show Me the Way, are my regular companions to the Daily Office (Morning & Evening Prayer). The Daily Office is a challenge for me, but a duty of those in the Church. So I try new things during Lent.

I fail way too often. But I begin each day anew, hoping muscles I try to flex now might grow strong and steady. Lord, have patience with me. And Lord help me, a sinner in your sight.