Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Calling Me Forth, Calling Me Away?

Following the 7:00 a.m. Eucharist today, I sat down with Father Malm to bring him up to date on my journey in Discernment.  

I told Bob+ of my experience through the committee formation work I did as a test "seeker" with folks at St. Christopher's, Springfield, and some of the observations they shared with me.  I shared the images revealed to me, serving "outside Grace Church" as a priest working with youth, helping couples prepare for marriage, and ministering in hospitals wards and at bedsides.  Finally, I spoke of the walk one morning with one of my dogs when I felt an overwhelming sense of warmth and peace that enveloped me as I asked God aloud if He was calling me to be a priest in his church.

I also shared the symmetries my Dad & I have discussed about his journey into ministry, and the walk I'm about now.  I hadn't told Bob about when my father was called from southwest Virginia to Newport, N.H. to become the Rector of Church of the Epiphany (this is how the Crosbys first met the Malms as Bob was a priest in N.H. then).  While in Buchanan (just north of Roanoke), my mother was diagnosed with cancer, but she did not tell my Dad because he was in the process of discerning the call to N.H.  After they settled at Epiphany, my mother told my father of her condition.  Her reasoning for not sharing beforehand was much like the dutiful Naval officer's spouse she had been most of their marriage; she did not want to influence Dad in being open and obedient to God's call.    

Bob said my visions of ministry, and the story of my parents' move to N.H., may not only be about a call to the priesthood, but could also be a call away from Grace Church.  I had not considered that until now.  I realize now that perhaps some of my resistance to this call could have been an unconscious reluctance to "let loose of Grace" in obedience to God. 

I continue walking in discernment.  I pray to be open to God.  I try to listen carefully.  I am willing to be led.  I want to be obedient.    

I believe we learns things to do more, and plan accordingly:  I will call Richmond about the Diocesan Discernment Retreat in May, and call Liz Ward about the next steps in the diocesan Discernment process.  I also need to decide on a Spiritual Director.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Apr. 13th, 2007 04:52 pm (UTC)
Overdue Chiming-In
David, I wanted to tell you that I can relate to the difficulty of leaving Grace Church for another call. It was very, very difficult. However, it was also very fruitful, and I can see now that it was necessary. There are still times when I feel I would give my eye teeth to be in that sanctuary. But I am also most grateful for the faith God gave us to take the leap to Wyoming.

One night as it got close to us leaving Alexandria, I was at the Eucharist/Healing Service. I was tearful as I reflected that I would only be at this service another time or two. And I heard an inner voice say, "You know, I'm portable. I'll be going with you wherever you go."

It's God we love so much; the particular church is just a reflection of that, though goodness knows it feels as if we're tearing ourselves away from the Lord himself sometimes!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )