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Finding Balance and The Flickering Flame

Quickly after Gibbs arrived and joined our family, I found that my usual practice of quiet reflection and morning prayer at daybreak was lost.  In its place were regular trips outside throughout the night and day to teach the little one to 'strip tanks'.  In a short span of days, the resulting exhaustion from disrupted rest had taken its toll on my willingness to rise and my ability to reflect and pray.  By the time I was conscious enough to do so, we were well into the day, and my time was spent monitoring both dogs' activity, and taking frequent walks, praising stops to pee, and picking up poop.  Thankfully, the sense of balance I felt I had lost was enough to move me to change.  So I asked Chrissie to not let me linger in bed in the morning.  

I am now back to having "Coffee with God" first thing in the morning.  (Thank you, Honey.)  Chrissie added something to my meditative space in the den.  A small bowl that has some smooth stones and sea shells surrounding a small votive light.  Now I rise early and take my coffee downstairs.  Gibbs has been out (after sleeping through the night) and is back in his crate in the bedroom while Chrissie readies for work.  With the Sublime Chant CD playing from another room, I turn off lights in the living room, and then go sit in the darkness of the den, save for the flickering of a new light.  Sometimes the flame burns straight and tall. Sometimes it flickers about, causing shadows to dance about on the walls and ceiling.  Amidst the hum of the overhead fan, and the occasional early morning walker passing by on the street, it is still and quiet.   

"Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful, and kindle in us the fire of your love.  Send forth your Spirit and we shall be created, and You shall renew the face of the earth.  O God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy his consolations: through Christ our Lord.  AMEN."